Early 40's for me.
However, for many many years there was the constant battle of trying to do whats 'right' with doing what I considered to be normal activities, eg having fun!
Had many years in a difficult marriage where there was no love either way, but I was a ministerial servant and should be 'working' on the marriage problems - everything was my fault when things didn't go right depsite the fact that she would never go out in field service, would never answer at meetings, never study etc etc.
So glad I am out now, so are my children. I have a great relationship with them and it is fantastic to have a life in which I care deeply about others but can really enjoy myself without any feelings of guilt.
In other words - I FEEL ALIVE!!!